Rough Patch

Yeah, so about that whole staying positive...I'm really trying, but it's hard. It's been a rough few weeks. Adjusting to life without my day has been difficult for all of us. Today, I'm home sick because as usual my immune system is shit. Caught some nasty virus. It just seems like one thing after another. Car problems, problems around the house, everyone getting sick, financial crap...an overload for us all. We take one mountain at a time, however frustrating it may be.

With all my health problems, I am a bit concerned. I don't want to lose my job, but there are some days when I just can't function at home, forget about working. I'm glad they have been understanding thus far. I pray that they keep being understanding.

At the end of the day, I'm really fortunate to have friends and family who love Alex and I. They have been here for us and I truly appreciate it.

Eulogy for My Father

For those who don't know, my father passed away 9/17/11. Here's is my Eulogy I wrote:

Most people never have the opportunity to see an angel, or simply do not look well enough to see them walking among us. This however does not mean they don't exist. Me, I'm one of the lucky few, not only have I seen an angel, I got to call him my best friend. My father was truly my best friend. I talked to him about everything, called him several times a day, even though I always saw him nearly every day. I’m what most would identify as a “daddy’s girl”. My friends used to pick on me because I would call him and no matter how silly the request I had, my dad would oblige. I always tried to express my appreciation to him, but somehow it feels like it was never enough. He touched the lives of everyone he met and would strike up conversation with anyone, anywhere. People, who haven’t seen him in years or have only met him once or twice, can look back fondly and remember the effect he had on them with his positivity and kindness. He was a laid-back person, who rarely got angry or raised his voice. I can count on one hand the times he yelled at me and remember each occasion, because they were so rare. He was overall an amazing human being, there are other good men out there I’m sure, but to me there is no man better than my father. The kind of man who woke up every morning to clean off our cars and the one morning I woke up early to do it for him, he got upset because I was sick and shouldn’t be exerting myself too much. The kind of man, who would make pancakes and take a tray up to my mother when she didn’t feel like coming downstairs. The kind of person that we should all aspire to be. Kind, thoughtful, generous, gentle, intelligent, strong….Amazing. He loved all of us, all of his family so much and it was never hard to see. He always made it blatantly apparent that we were the world to him.
I’ve dreaded this day my whole life. I truly believed that when my dad died, I would just die too because I wouldn’t be able to handle life without him. I was partially right because a big piece of me has died and will never come back. But dad being the man he was, made sure to give me enough strength to make it through one moment at a time. I really believe that he is sustaining me during this difficult time and I hope one day I will grow to become more like him.