Saturday, July 17, 2010
So today after being berated by my mother on how shoddy my parenting can be and successfully angering me to no end, I thought, "Wow, even the people who THINK they know about me, really truly DO NOT know." I think there are a lot of people who think they know so much about me and how my mind works, but truly they have no clue. This is not to say that I know everything about anyone. I would NEVER assume that I really know anyone. It's absurd to think that anyone can know the intricate inner workings of another person's mind. While I think I know a lot about my daughter, I know that there a million thoughts a minute that I can never capture.
So what are some of the things that people commonly misconstrue about me? Well I decided that I'll just randomly list some contradictions of things said in no specific order. Take it for what it is.
-I don't have a "style", I just wear what I want, what is comfortable and what looks cute to me. I have no cares about what I look like to other people or what other people think about me.
-People say I'm an easy person to talk too. I really do like to listen to people and try to help or give advice on their lives and problems. I would never pry for information and just take in what they are telling me. This is why I think I'd make a good psychologist. BUT, sometimes I want to talk to my friends and family about what is going on with me too and get their advice. You'd think this was natural, but you'd be wrong.
-People assume that my extreme generosity is a negative thing. That people take advantage of me and while some have, I've NEVER regretted anything I've done for anybody. I don't have some underlying desire to be accepted or anything silly like that. I genuinely like to help people and make people happy. Sometimes things may go sour, but I hope that sometime later in their lives those people remember that I was one of the people who helped them when they needed it.
-Money is important to me. I'd like to know who can live without ANY money, even if it's other people's money. With that being said, it isn't everything. I have principles and there's a lot that I WOULDN'T do for money. I try to do the best with what I have. Sometimes I may go beyond my means, but I always prioritize and make sure what needs to be taken care of, is taken care of.
-I am a very tolerant person. I don't get angry easily. Although it seems I always speak my mind, there are a lot of times that I hold back. Whether or not this is a good thing. I don't really know. Words can be just as hurtful as physical actions. I truly don't want to hurt anyone, even if I don't really know them well. There are a lot of people who annoy the living FUCK out of me, maybe not all the time, but sometimes. I just try to deal with it because I feel the positive aspects of knowing these people outweigh the negative things that come along with knowing them. It takes a lot to push me over the edge. When that time comes you will know because I'll be cutting loose whether it be verbally or physically.
-While those that know me would say I'm outgoing and acting out all the time, I can be very shy. I like to have fun with my life and joke around. When it comes to talking about how I really feel about something I clam up. It's not because I don't trust them or that I'm scared of reactions. It's more because there are a lot of things I'd rather just keep to myself. See above point.
-I'm insecure and confident at the same time. Yes, I know this is contradictory, but I feel that anyone who truly thinks, "Hey I'm fucking PERFECT." Is most likely lying, a complete idiot or a total narcissistic assholes. I love certain things about myself...other things not so much. I feel this makes me human. If you see it as weakness and dislike me for that...well not much I can do about that.
-While I'd NEVER claim that I know everything or that I'm a genius, I'm am much smarter than most people will know. Just because I don't say anything about it, doesn't mean I don't know what's going on. People often think they are getting one over on me or that I truly think that they like me, when they can't stand me. It's called being civil. It's a complicated concept for some. When it's time to call someone out on something I will, but in the meantime I like to kickback, observe and formulate. That's what I do.
-I'd like to believe that keeping my daughter alive, healthy, and happy for six years would count for something. My mother is not the only one who feels it's necessary to "help" me parent. While I appreciate the help my family, friends and others give me, I'd like to note that at the end of the day, I AM THE ONE raising my daughter. I provide for her needs and wants. No one else can EVER say they've put more physical, emotional, or financial effort into raising her than I have. I can GUAR-AN-FUCKING-TEE it. So while I'm more than open to constructive opinions, I don't really care if you think that you could do it better this way or that way. We live how we live and we like it. We don't live in squalor. She's not starving. She's not depressed. In fact, while I'm not 100% on this, I think she kind of likes me a bit. That's good enough for us, so why can't it be good enough for you?
Okay, well I think I've gone on long enough. There are many more misconceptions I'm sure, but these are the first ones to come to mind. While I don't know how important it is to others that I clear up misunderstandings about myself, I view my personal blog as a diary of sorts and it does make me feel better to get things off of my chest through creative means.
I'll leave you with this song that I got my title from.
So what are some of the things that people commonly misconstrue about me? Well I decided that I'll just randomly list some contradictions of things said in no specific order. Take it for what it is.
-I don't have a "style", I just wear what I want, what is comfortable and what looks cute to me. I have no cares about what I look like to other people or what other people think about me.
-People say I'm an easy person to talk too. I really do like to listen to people and try to help or give advice on their lives and problems. I would never pry for information and just take in what they are telling me. This is why I think I'd make a good psychologist. BUT, sometimes I want to talk to my friends and family about what is going on with me too and get their advice. You'd think this was natural, but you'd be wrong.
-People assume that my extreme generosity is a negative thing. That people take advantage of me and while some have, I've NEVER regretted anything I've done for anybody. I don't have some underlying desire to be accepted or anything silly like that. I genuinely like to help people and make people happy. Sometimes things may go sour, but I hope that sometime later in their lives those people remember that I was one of the people who helped them when they needed it.
-Money is important to me. I'd like to know who can live without ANY money, even if it's other people's money. With that being said, it isn't everything. I have principles and there's a lot that I WOULDN'T do for money. I try to do the best with what I have. Sometimes I may go beyond my means, but I always prioritize and make sure what needs to be taken care of, is taken care of.
-I am a very tolerant person. I don't get angry easily. Although it seems I always speak my mind, there are a lot of times that I hold back. Whether or not this is a good thing. I don't really know. Words can be just as hurtful as physical actions. I truly don't want to hurt anyone, even if I don't really know them well. There are a lot of people who annoy the living FUCK out of me, maybe not all the time, but sometimes. I just try to deal with it because I feel the positive aspects of knowing these people outweigh the negative things that come along with knowing them. It takes a lot to push me over the edge. When that time comes you will know because I'll be cutting loose whether it be verbally or physically.
-While those that know me would say I'm outgoing and acting out all the time, I can be very shy. I like to have fun with my life and joke around. When it comes to talking about how I really feel about something I clam up. It's not because I don't trust them or that I'm scared of reactions. It's more because there are a lot of things I'd rather just keep to myself. See above point.
-I'm insecure and confident at the same time. Yes, I know this is contradictory, but I feel that anyone who truly thinks, "Hey I'm fucking PERFECT." Is most likely lying, a complete idiot or a total narcissistic assholes. I love certain things about myself...other things not so much. I feel this makes me human. If you see it as weakness and dislike me for that...well not much I can do about that.
-While I'd NEVER claim that I know everything or that I'm a genius, I'm am much smarter than most people will know. Just because I don't say anything about it, doesn't mean I don't know what's going on. People often think they are getting one over on me or that I truly think that they like me, when they can't stand me. It's called being civil. It's a complicated concept for some. When it's time to call someone out on something I will, but in the meantime I like to kickback, observe and formulate. That's what I do.
-I'd like to believe that keeping my daughter alive, healthy, and happy for six years would count for something. My mother is not the only one who feels it's necessary to "help" me parent. While I appreciate the help my family, friends and others give me, I'd like to note that at the end of the day, I AM THE ONE raising my daughter. I provide for her needs and wants. No one else can EVER say they've put more physical, emotional, or financial effort into raising her than I have. I can GUAR-AN-FUCKING-TEE it. So while I'm more than open to constructive opinions, I don't really care if you think that you could do it better this way or that way. We live how we live and we like it. We don't live in squalor. She's not starving. She's not depressed. In fact, while I'm not 100% on this, I think she kind of likes me a bit. That's good enough for us, so why can't it be good enough for you?
Okay, well I think I've gone on long enough. There are many more misconceptions I'm sure, but these are the first ones to come to mind. While I don't know how important it is to others that I clear up misunderstandings about myself, I view my personal blog as a diary of sorts and it does make me feel better to get things off of my chest through creative means.
I'll leave you with this song that I got my title from.
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