Friday, January 15, 2010
So, lately there has been miscellaneous drama in my various friends' respective lives. As much as I try to stay away from drama, I somehow still end up hearing about it. While I try to remain as objective as possible, view things from all points of view, and give unbiased advice...I still can't help thinking...is it really possible for a cheater to be rehabilitated? Can they learn from a mistake and make sure it never happens again in another relationship or in the same relationship? I'm a firm believer in second chances, but I can tell you from first-hand experience that once the trust in a relationship is damaged...well it's very very hard to repair. It always is in the back of your mind and truthfully I personally have never been able to get past it. Sure I may have stayed and tried to work things out, but in the end...I couldn't do it. There was just no trust.
Now I look at other people and I see a person who's cheated, their partner forgave them. They seem to be happy and are slowly moving past it. It really seems as though the will recover.
On the other hand, I see friends who cheat on practically every girl/boy they're with and just can't seem to stop themselves.
Here's what I don't get. There's a situation right now, I'm going to change the names obviously because I don't want to bust anybody out. Andrew had a girlfriend and he cheated on her with a girl named Angela. Andrew is sleeping with Angela, knowing that his close friend Marc really really likes her. Andrew breaks up with his girlfriend and starts dating Angela. Eventually Marc finds out Andrew and Angela are together. While he is pissed off at first, Marc and Andrew decide friendship is more important and still remain friends. Now might I add that Angela, Andrew and Marc are part of a much larger group of friends that always kick it together. Various dramatic things happen and they break up. Andrew still really cares about Angela, but starts messing around with other women, slowly getting over it. Messing with people's feelings in the process, but that's another story for another time....moving on...time passes, while there are little arguments here and there between Angela and Andrew, overall the group of friends remain intact. Then something crazy happens. Angela starts dating Marc! Well, Andrew is pissed and Marc justifies it saying that he's just doing to Andrew, what Andrew had done to him. My take on all this is probably irrelevant, but Angela starts to look like a slut who's looking to go where the drama is and Marc and Andrew both look like...well...idiots for lack of a better term. The problem now is that all of the group is in disarray. Whose fault is it? No one really and truthfully at this point it doesn't really matter. Andrew and Angela were wrong for what they did. Marc should know that two wrongs don't make a right. Should Marc really risk losing his friend for a girl that didn't hesitate to sleep with a guy who had a girlfriend? Time will tell. The point is cheating started it all.
To me, if you're a cheater once, odds are you'll probably do it again. I feel like if you don't really care for monogamous relationships, then don't have one. If you just want one because you like the comfortability that comes with it, but you also want some action on the side too...well, grow the fuck up. You can't have it both ways.
Now I look at other people and I see a person who's cheated, their partner forgave them. They seem to be happy and are slowly moving past it. It really seems as though the will recover.
On the other hand, I see friends who cheat on practically every girl/boy they're with and just can't seem to stop themselves.
Here's what I don't get. There's a situation right now, I'm going to change the names obviously because I don't want to bust anybody out. Andrew had a girlfriend and he cheated on her with a girl named Angela. Andrew is sleeping with Angela, knowing that his close friend Marc really really likes her. Andrew breaks up with his girlfriend and starts dating Angela. Eventually Marc finds out Andrew and Angela are together. While he is pissed off at first, Marc and Andrew decide friendship is more important and still remain friends. Now might I add that Angela, Andrew and Marc are part of a much larger group of friends that always kick it together. Various dramatic things happen and they break up. Andrew still really cares about Angela, but starts messing around with other women, slowly getting over it. Messing with people's feelings in the process, but that's another story for another time....moving on...time passes, while there are little arguments here and there between Angela and Andrew, overall the group of friends remain intact. Then something crazy happens. Angela starts dating Marc! Well, Andrew is pissed and Marc justifies it saying that he's just doing to Andrew, what Andrew had done to him. My take on all this is probably irrelevant, but Angela starts to look like a slut who's looking to go where the drama is and Marc and Andrew both look like...well...idiots for lack of a better term. The problem now is that all of the group is in disarray. Whose fault is it? No one really and truthfully at this point it doesn't really matter. Andrew and Angela were wrong for what they did. Marc should know that two wrongs don't make a right. Should Marc really risk losing his friend for a girl that didn't hesitate to sleep with a guy who had a girlfriend? Time will tell. The point is cheating started it all.
To me, if you're a cheater once, odds are you'll probably do it again. I feel like if you don't really care for monogamous relationships, then don't have one. If you just want one because you like the comfortability that comes with it, but you also want some action on the side too...well, grow the fuck up. You can't have it both ways.
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